


A Wish For Light

by OwenToDawn



Series: Fanxy Child - OT5 [4]
Category: DEAN (Korean Musician), FANXY CHILD (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst, Bathing/Washing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Finger Sucking, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Rimming, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:21:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23163190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwenToDawn/pseuds/OwenToDawn
Summary: Hyuk looks up at Seunghyun. “Asking for help means admitting weakness. I don’t have to ask Dongwook or Hyoseob.”“We aren’t all mind-readers.” Seunghyun accepts the soap Hyuk hands him and leans out of the tub to snag a washcloth from the nearby rack. “If you want my help you’re going to have to ask.”
Relationships: Cheon Seunghyun | Millic/Kwon Hyuk | Dean, Cheon Seunghyun | Millic/Kwon Hyuk | Dean/Shin Hyoseob | Crush, Kwon Hyuk | Dean/Shin Hyoseob | Crush
Series: Fanxy Child - OT5 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628101
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	A Wish For Light

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place directly after the last one in this series so it might be worth reading that one. Most of the ones in this 'verse can be read as standalones but not this one. 
> 
> Title from Paradise by millic feat Fanxy Child
> 
> Comments are loved, especially cuz this virus shit has my disabled self anxious as hell.

Hyuk wakes up feeling warm. No. Hot. Sweltering. He went to bed curled up to Hyoseob, and Hyoseob is still at his front but there’s someone pressed up against his back now too. He knows his partners well enough to know it’s Seunghyun and it takes all his self-control not to turn over and tackle him into the bed. Hyoseob deserves his sleep. True to his word, he’d spent the last few days helping Hyuk manage his depressive episode, working each day to chip away at Hyuk’s fear that being seen in such a state would render him undesirable.

"You awake?” Seunghyun asks, lips moving against the nape of his neck.

“Yeah. When’d you get back in from the States?” Hyuk asks.

“A few hours ago. Made Dongwook let me borrow his key so I could surprise you,” Seunghyun says.

“Consider me surprised. And sweaty.”

Seunghyun snickers, body shaking as he tries to stifle it. “Sorry. Come on. I’ll shower with you. I already did once but I still smell like airport funk.”

The thought of getting up is daunting and he can’t help but tense up. He’s been better the last few days, but he hasn’t shaved again, unable to handle the stimulation, and he’s so low on energy that the thought of standing in the shower sounds like too much. Seunghyun rubs his chest with his hand.

"Do you want a bath instead?”

The creeping sadness, tinged with the feeling of failure that he’s so painfully pathetic, crawls up his chest and sits in his throat. It’s what he wants, but he doesn’t want to admit it. Even with how patient Hyoseob and Dongwook have been, some part of his brain still screams that he can’t let them see how incapable he is.

“I’d prefer that,” Hyuk says, grateful that his voice comes out steadier than he feels.

“Cool,” Seunghyun says, like he doesn’t mind at all.

And maybe he doesn’t. If Hyuk has learned anything the last few days it’s that no one is actually judging him for the things he’s judging himself for. That doesn’t really make it any easier though. Seunghyun rolls out of bed. Hyuk stares at Hyoseob’s sleeping face and reaches out to brush his hair back from his forehead. Hyoseob doesn’t even twitch. He pulls himself away and throws his legs over the edge of the bed, stopping as soon as his feet touch the ground. It takes a moment for him to summon the energy to stand.

When he does, Seunghyun wraps an arm around his shoulders and tugs him along to the bathroom, nonchalant, as if he hasn’t noticed how much Hyuk is struggling. It helps. He’s spent the last few days having Hyoseob dote on him, and while it had helped, it had also made guilt sit like a rock in his chest, oppressive and cold. Being taken care of doesn’t bring him peace, but instead anxiety. He prefers to be on the other end of that particular equation.

Seunghyun runs the bath and then takes off his clothes, stretching as he does so and Hyuk doesn’t hide his own slow up and down look of appreciation. He’s missed him for a lot of reasons. Some of them are superficial. Hyuk strips down as well and Seunghyun bundles up their clothes before tossing them all in the hamper under the sink, which is mostly empty now thanks to Dongwook and Hyoseob’s hard work.

Unlike when he bathed with Dongwook, Hyuk finds it easier to step into the tub now. The hot water doesn’t feel like too much like before, and he finds it possible to reach out and grab the washcloth and soap on his own. Seunghyun slips into the water and cuts off the faucet as he does so. He watches Hyuk with a sleepy gaze, reclining back against the edge of the tub as his legs slide against Hyuk’s. This is different too. Seunghyun isn’t going to try to take care of him unless Hyuk asks him to.

That’s the thing about Seunghyun – he refuses to do anything for Hyuk unless he asks. They haven’t ever talked about why. As Hyuk finishes cleaning his chest and arms, he thinks that maybe they should talk about it to really make sure they’re on the same page. It’s not exactly a secret that Hyuk prefers to serve over being served in bed, but Seunghyun seems to be the only one who continues the behavior in their everyday life.

“Hyoseob said he’s been helping you bathe and shave and eat,” Seunghyun says, as if he can read Hyuk’s mind. “But you seem to be doing just fine on your own.”

Hyuk bites his lip to stop a bratty retort from escaping him. That’s the problem with the two of them. Hyuk doesn’t like to be explicit about what he wants or needs, which is why it’s been so easy to rely on Dongwook the past few years because Dongwook just _gets_ it. He doesn’t have to ask Dongwook for help. Dongwook’s read his lyrics, has been through it himself. He knows when it’s bad and knows how to help Hyuk through it without Hyuk having to swallow his pride and ask.

Seunghyun doesn’t like reading between the lines. Hyuk isn’t sure if it’s laziness or because he’s just bad at it. Maybe laziness isn’t the right word. Lazy isn’t an adjective someone could apply to Seunghyun, not if they were being honest. Inpatient makes more sense. He doesn’t want to waste time. It’s quicker if people are straight forward. Hyuk hates doing that though. Asking for help…

He looks up at Seunghyun. “Asking for help means admitting weakness. I don’t have to ask Dongwook or Hyoseob.”

“We aren’t all mind-readers.” Seunghyun accepts the soap Hyuk hands him and leans out of the tub to snag a washcloth from the nearby rack. “If you want my help you’re going to have to ask.”

“It’s not like a kink thing,” Hyuk says, a little harsher than he intends. “It’s my fucking brain being fucked up.”

Seunghyun meets his eyes, gaze steady and solemn. “I know. I take both very seriously.”

“So then what’s this about me having to ask?”

“I don’t have to be a therapist to know it’s not good that you associate asking for help with admitting weakness. Needing help isn’t weak. Everyone needs help,” Seunghyun says as he cleans himself off.

“This isn’t something you can fix,” Hyuk says. “No matter how much you want to, that’s not how this works.”

“I know. You have other boyfriends who can help you in a way you find more comfortable,” Seunghyun says. “But if you want it from me, you’re going to have to ask.”

Hyuk wants to protest, but he knows it’s only out of selfishness. They all have boundaries, and this is Seunghyun’s. Seunghyun finishes washing up and takes both the washcloths and sets them on the edge of the tub. Then, there’s silence. Hyuk stares down into the water at their entwined legs.

His hair is at his shoulders now and it’s a hassle to clean it thoroughly with how thick it’s gotten. He could go another day without cleaning it. Or…he could ask. His teeth dig into his bottom lip as he tries to make the words come out.

“Can you wash my hair please?” he asks.

“Of course,” Seunghyun says without a moment of hesitation. “Turn around?”

Hyuk obeys, eyes slipping shut as Seunghyun tugs him back and soaks his hair in the bath water, fingers combing through it with careful precision. Then he pushes Hyuk upright and grabs the shampoo. His shampoo slicked fingers slip through Hyuk’s hair. Unlike Dongwook’s slow but efficient wash and massage, Seunghyun keeps each motion unhurried and methodical, fingers sliding along his temple and rubbing down to the base of his neck and then back up again. The tenderness of his touch soothes away the tension of their conversation.

It also makes him want to cry again. The gentle touch is a direct contradiction to the frustration of their conversation and knowing Seunghyun wants nothing more than to make him feel good despite it makes him feel… _something_. Grateful? Loved? Cherished? He’s not sure. Why that makes him want to cry…that’s too much to analyze when he has Seunghyun’s fingers digging into the tense muscles at the base of his skull.

A moment later, the faucet turns on again. Seunghyun tugs him under the spray to rinse before he turns the water off and letting some of it drain. Hyuk sits up as the water finishes draining a few inches. He frowns and looks back at him. Seunghyun holds up a bottle of conditioner in answer to Hyuk’s unasked question.

“The ends look a little rough,” he says. “I can do this too, if you want.”

“Oh…uh…sure,” Hyuk says. “That’d be nice.”

“Close enough to asking, I’ll accept it,” Seunghyun says with a lazy grin. “Come on, turn around.”

Hyuk obeys, shivering when Seunghyun’s fingers slide over his shoulders and across his neck. Then there’s a click of the conditioner bottle. The smell of lemon and sage permeates the air and then Seunghyun’s fingers begin to comb through the ends of his hair. They settle back into a calm silence, which leaves Hyuk to his thoughts.

Thoughts about his inability to handle Seunghyun’s gentle touch. Perhaps it’s because he started so young, seventeen and thrust into the entertainment industry as a producer surrounded by thieving sharks with years more of experience than him. His worth came from his ability to work hard enough to get respect even with his pretty face. Those early days he’d heard more than one comment about how he should just be an idol. Remaining aloof and producing undeniably good work was the only way to get that respect back.

Maybe it became a habit. A defense he could wrap around himself. As long as he worked hard, as long as he produced things company’s chose over someone else’s work, he had worth in the eyes of his colleagues. At least until he met Hyoseob, and Jiho, and Dongwook. And Seunghyun for the second time.

“Do you remember when we first met?” Hyuk asks.

Seunghyun gathers up his hair in one hand and starts working the conditioner in that way. “Yeah. You gave me the cold shoulder. I thought you were the biggest asshole.”

Hyuk looks down at the water, unable to help his embarrassment. “I was threatened by you. I’d been working so hard and then you just waltzed in with all this skill and a year younger and I…I thought all my hard work was just going to be ripped away.”

His hair falls down against his neck when Seunghyun lets go. The bathroom goes silent, neither of them moving, perhaps held in place by the gravity of his words. What they mean. That from the start, Hyuk saw collaboration not as fun, not as a way to connect, but as an inherent threat.

“I just wanted to work with you,” Seunghyun says. There’s no teasing or frustration in his voice now.

“I didn’t know that then,” Hyuk says.

“What about now?”  
And that was the real question, wasn’t it? He _loved_ Seunghyun, loved _all_ of then more than air, more than music, they were the center of _everything_. But they were his competition too. Even if they collaborate and help each other, they’re all on competing labels, and Jiho is the most vulnerable of all of them with a company that’s barely a year old.

Can he truly trust people he competes with?

He feels bad for even asking the question in the privacy of his own mind.

“I trust you, I think,” Hyuk says. Water drips from his hair, plopping and sending ripples through the bath water. “I trust you with my personal life, I know that. But I think…I think there’s a part of me that’s always waiting for someone to come pull the rug out from under me and take all my hard work, even if I know you won’t.”

“And taking care of you? Where does your anxiety about that factor in?” Seunghyun asks, voice calm and neutral as if Hyuk hadn’t just upended their whole relationship in a few sentences.

“It’s exposing a weakness that could be exploited,” Hyuk says.

“Why would any of us do that?”

Hyuk frowns. “I didn’t say it was rational.”

Seunghyun’s fingers return to his hair, combing through it and checking that the conditioner has finished soaking in before he shifts them both again and turns the faucet back on. Hyuk closes his eyes and lets Seunghyun rinse his hair once more. Part of him doesn’t want Seunghyun to stop, terrified of where their conversation is going to go next once they have no bath to distract them.

The faucet turns off and Seunghyun pushes him upright. They climb out of the bath together and Hyuk dries off with his own towel while Seunghyun grabs a clean one from the cabinet and begins to do the same.

“Stay here,” he says once he finishes.

Hyuk swallows and nods, raising the towel up to rub at his hair as Seunghyun opens the bathroom door and heads back into the bedroom. He hears Hyoseob and Seunghyun exchange a few words, not enough for a proper conversation. There’s the sound of the drawers and closet opening and shutting, and then Seunghyun’s pushing the bathroom door back open dressed in sweats a little too short in the ankle and clothing in his arms for Hyuk. He takes the sweats and t-shirt offered, pulling them on and then tossing his towel over the hanger bar.

“Are we going to talk about this?” Hyuk asks.

“You have trust issues,” Seunghyun says. “I can’t fix that, and I wouldn’t even know how to if I could. So I’ll work around it. All of us will. You love us, right?”

Hyuk nods. “Yes, of course. Seunghyun…” He can feel his eyes burning with tears again, unable to help the way the idea that he’s made Seunghyun doubt that terrifies him.

“Ah, fuck,” Seunghyun says and steps forward, pulling Hyuk into his arms and holding him close. “I didn’t mean like…I know you love us. That’s what matters, okay? Even if you have issues with trusting us and that makes it hard to accept our help, you love us, and we can all live with that.”

“Besides, even if you don’t trust us, you’ve let both me and Seunghyun help you for the first time in years so that means you’re improving,” Hyoseob says, voice slow and thick with sleep from where he stands at the entrance to the bathroom. He wipes the sleep from his eyes and then smiles at him.

Seunghyun pushes him into Hyoseob’s arms and Hyuk deflates, too tired to resist being passed around hugged. Hyoseob kisses his cheek and squeezes him.

“Sorry for eavesdropping,” Hyoseob says.

“I don’t mind,” Hyuk says. A few stray tears escape him and soak into Hyoseob’s shirt.

“I’m gonna pass you back to Seunghyun now, okay? I have to shower,” Hyoseob says, rubbing Hyuk’s back.

Hyuk lets out a watery laugh and goes when Hyoseob gives him a light push. Seunghyun slings an arm around his shoulders and tugs him back into the bedroom. The bathroom door shuts behind them, leaving them in darkness because Hyuk still hasn’t been in the mood to open the blackout curtains. Seunghyun curses when he trips over something on the floor and Hyuk tries not to laugh.

Seunghyun clicks the lamp on and then tugs Hyuk down onto the mattress with enough force that they both bounce. “I brought good weed back from the US if you want.”

“Of course you did,” Hyuk says with a roll of his eyes.

Seunghyun raises an eyebrow. “Is that a no?”

“Go get it.”

Seunghyun rolls to the edge of the bed and Hyuk listens to him pat down the pockets of his discarded jeans. He returns with a cigarette carton and lighter. When he opens it, there’s four neatly rolled joints and he holds it out to Hyuk who pulls out the first one and puts it between his lips. Seunghyun flicks the lighter on and lights it up for him.

“I want to try something with you,” Seunghyun says. “If you think you can handle it.”

Hyuk fills his lungs with smoke and passes the spliff back to Seunghyun as he rolls onto his back and exhales towards the ceiling. “What is it?”

“Let me and Hyoseob take care of you,” he says. “No working or trying to make us feel good, just lay there and smoke and let us make _you_ feel good instead.”

It sounds nice. He accepts the blunt back when it’s offered and Seunghyun sets an ashtray on his chest as he inhales. Hyuk drops the blunt back in the tray and exhales.

“Okay. We can try,” Hyuk says.

Seunghyun’s lips brush his cheek before he moves down the bed, pushing Hyuk’s shirt up as he goes so he can press his lips to Hyuk’s stomach instead. Hyuk stares at the ceiling and fumbles for the blunt when Seunghyun’s teeth graze over the sensitive skin above his belly button. Hyuk waits for Seunghyun to move down, but he doesn’t, instead letting his lips slide all over his abdomen, teasing and gentle.

Hyuk takes one more drag and puts the joint back down in the tray and shuts his eyes, focusing on the feeling of Seunghyun’s lips. He can already feel the high tingling through him. Wherever Seunghyun’s lips press, his nerves light up and send a sleepy slow pleasure rolling through him like waves. He jolts out of his lull when the bed dips next to him. When he opens his eyes, Hyoseob is kneeling next to him and reaching for the smoking joint in the tray on Hyuk’s chest.

“Going to let us spoil you?” Hyoseob asks.

“Gonna try,” Hyuk says, watching the way Hyoseob sucks his cheeks in as he inhales.

And then Seunghyun grabs his cock. Hyuk moans, the pleasure taking him by surprise since he hadn’t even noticed himself getting hard. Hyoseob exhales with a laugh and takes the ashtray away, setting the blunt back down in it and placing it on the nightstand. Then his fingers brush over Hyuk’s cheek before sliding into his mouth. Hyuk sucks at them on reflex, moaning as Seunghyun continues to stroke him through his sweats.

Seunghyun’s teeth graze over the cut of his hip, the sensation registering first as pain, then a tickle, then pleasure, and back again. He forgot how weird and good sex could be with quality weed. It’s easy to give in to Seunghyun’s request not to try and make them feel good when he’s already overwhelmed in the best way. His sweats are tugged down and he squirms to help as much as he can. He hears Seunghyun laugh as he pulls his sweats off the rest of the way followed by some sort of response from Hyoseob. He’s too focused on the feeling of Hyoseob’s fingers in his mouth to parse out what.

Warm and firm hands part his thighs and he waits to feel Seunghyun’s mouth on his cock. Instead, he feels a tongue against his hole. He shouts, hand flying down to twist in Seunghyun’s hair, whining when Seunghyun responds by licking into him harder. Hyoseob’s wet fingers slide over his lips and down his jaw before pulling away. Without the distraction his gasping cries spill from his lips, growing louder when Hyoseob’s fingers pinch at his right nipple through his shirt.

Just as he’s getting used to the sensation, Seunghyun pulls away. Hyuk sucks in a gasping breath and watches with a dazed expression when Hyoseob takes another hit even as his fingers continue their casual twisting of his nipple. It sends sparks of pleasure through him again, building the ripples into gentle waves. Seunghyun’s hands rub at his thighs as he leans forward, mouth open so Hyoseob can exhale the same into his mouth.

“Hah…ah…” Hyuk can’t help the noises that escape him at the sight.

Hyoseob turns to look at him, lips turning up in the warm smile that somehow always manages to put him at ease. “I forget how sensitive you get when you’re high.”

Hyuk almost protests, but then Hyoseob slips two fingers into his mouth. He’s not mad about it. He can get revenge by bobbing his head along Hyoseob’s fingers as he meets his gaze, smirking at the way Hyoseob’s eyes narrow. His win doesn’t last long. Seunghyun’s fingers wrap around his cock, grip loose except for when he squeezes the tip on every stroke. Hyoseob’s other hand slips beneath Hyuk’s shirt to pinch at his nipples, alternating between a harsh and teasing touch that matches Seunghyun’s rhythm.

The alternating sensations they both use on him leaves Hyuk gasping and squirming beneath them. He sucks at Hyoseob’s fingers, trying to center himself. That becomes impossible when Seunghyun’s tongue returns to his hole, licking at it with broad strokes that leave Hyuk trembling on the bed. The sensations spiral out, the ripples they send out crashing into each other and leaving him overwhelmed.

“See? It’s not so bad to let us do the work, is it?” Hyoseob asks.

Hyuk struggles to open his eyes, then gives up and just sucks harder at his fingers in answer instead. Hyoseob laughs and tugs his fingers out. Before Hyuk can complain, Hyoseob is stretching out next to him on the bed and pressing their lips together instead. Hyuk reaches up to twist a hand in Hyoseob’s hair, tugging at it as a desperate whimper escapes him. Hyoseob slips his tongue inside, sliding against his and then pulling back to suck at his bottom lip before kissing him deeper again, a push and pull that adds to the teasing touches of his fingers across Hyuk’s chest.

Seunghyun pulls away again and Hyuk goes limp against the bed, sighing when Hyoseob skates his fingers along Hyuk’s side instead of continuing to play with his nipples. It gives him a chance to catch his breath again. He can hear Seunghyun shifting on the bed and digging around in the nightstand, then the distinct sound of him taking a drag and exhaling. It’s not his focus though. How can it be when he has Hyoseob kissing the breath out of him?

Or at least, that’s his focus until Hyoseob is tugged away and Seunghyun replaces him, complete with a mouthful of smoke. Hyuk inhales, eyes fluttering open to see Seunghyun’s lazy smile.

“Enjoying yourself?” Seunghyun asks.

Hyuk nods, words feeling far away. Seunghyun rubs his thumb along Hyuk’s bottom lip before slipping away again, to settle back between Hyuk’s legs. Hyoseob snuggles into his side again and presses a kiss to his neck. Hyuk turns to look at him, mouth dropping open on a moan when Seunghyun’s tongue slides over his hole again, thumbs spreading him open so he can push inside.

“F…fucking…ahh…”

Hyoseob pulls back to look at him, smiling as he slips his wet fingers back into Hyuk’s mouth. It’s not often his cock gets ignored, not like this. When he’s getting fucked, it’s so much different, forceful and steady, ground him. Sometimes he doesn’t _need_ to be touched to get off, but this…this is just _teasing._ It’s the promise of something more substantial, but all he gets is pleasure ratcheting higher with every thrust of Seunghyun’s tongue but without an end in sight.

“I wonder how long it’d take to get you off just like this,” Hyoseob says. “Just from Seunghyun’s tongue in you?”

Hyuk shivers and bites at Hyoseob’s fingers as his hips roll down, desperate for more of Seunghyun’s tongue, or his fingers, or his cock. He thinks maybe he could come like this. The way the pleasure moves through him, building on itself like waves building from an approaching storm, he’s not sure it’d be all that enjoyable, only overwhelming. He needs something to ground him too. In his current state, it’s hard to articulate that.

But in the end he doesn’t need to. They know him too well, have loved him for too long, to not know exactly what he wants and needs. There’s the click of a lube bottle opening, and then finally, finally, two fingers slide into him alongside Seunghyun’s tongue, stretching him wide and giving his tongue more room to play. His back arches, relief filling him even as the pleasure cranks higher. It’s not unbearable this way though, not when Seunghyun’s fingers push into him, giving him something to squeeze around and focus on.

“Ahhh, that’s better isn’t it?” Hyoseob asks, nose brushing along Hyuk’s cheek. “You love having something in you, don’t you baby?”

Hyuk shivers at the way Hyoseob’s lips curl around the endearment. Hyoseob kisses his jaw and then slides his fingers deeper into Hyuk’s mouth, almost making him choke in the process, but that’s what Hyuk likes. He likes being full, likes the way it feels to have his body manipulated. Even though it’s not to make Seunghyun and Hyoseob feel good, he can’t deny that he enjoys having his mouth and hole full of fingers purely because of the sensation. He just doesn’t know how to explain _why_ it feels so good.

Then again, it’s not like anyone’s asking.

Seunghyun’s fingers curl up and push into his prostate, fast and hard as his lips slide up to press against his balls, slick and wet from everything he’s been doing. It knocks the breath from Hyuk’s lungs, makes his vision sparkle. His fingers twist in the sheets and he comes with a muffled wail around Hyoseob’s fingers even as Hyoseob murmurs quiet words of praise against his ear. The fingers slip out of his mouth as he gasps even as the fingers against his prostate continue to just press and press, milking his orgasm as long as possible, until his legs and hips shiver and twitch from _too much, too much_ -

“There, easy, we got you,” Hyoseob says as Seunghyun pulls his fingers out. “Feel good?”

Hyuk’s eyes flutter open to see Hyoseob’s warm smile. “Uhh…I…”

Seunghyun giggles, cover his mouth with the back of his hand as he sits up. Hyuk’s stomach warms at the sound. He loves how giggly and silly Seunghyun gets when he’s high, his usual stoicism melting away to something more childish.

“You should know better than to ask him questions after that,” Seunghyun says.

“I like watching him struggle,” Hyoseob says and then presses a kiss to Hyuk’s slack lips. “Lie there and look pretty, babe. We’ll take care of everything.”

And they do. They clean him up and then curl up on either side of him, passing the joint back and forth until it’s gone, the room full of smoke that leaves them feeling hazy and warm and slow. Seunghyun’s fingers trace along the tattoo on his chest and up his neck. His skin twitches from the sensation, but he doesn’t mind it, not when Hyoseob kisses him sweet and unhurried at the same time.

“You know, sex doesn’t solve everything,” Hyuk says once he manages to pull himself away from Hyoseob’s lips.

“Of course not,” Seunghyun says. “But I can’t remember the last time we were able to get you off without you wanting to return the favor.”

Hyuk pushes his fingers through Seunghyun’s hair as he thinks. “I guess that’s true.”

“You think we can try opening the windows today?” Hyoseob asks. “I think we might need to air the place out.”

Hyuk glances towards the blackout curtains. It’s been weeks since he last opened them, but he doesn’t feel so afraid of being exposed now. He’s told Seunghyun and Hyoseob the things he’s only ever managed to put down in lyrics books that Dongwook’s seen, and they’re still here, just like Dongwook was. That has to mean something.

“Yeah,” he says after a long moment. “Let’s open the windows.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on Tumblr by the same username


End file.
